Miz Peacock asked:
We were together 2 years and he cheated and dumped me (that’s how I found out he cheated)… then begged my forgiveness… then he dumped me again right away after I gave him a 2nd chance. He also was awful at the end and said horrible, unforgivable things. It has been nearly 4 years and I still hate him like it was yesterday. He has tried many times over the past 3 years to get in touch with me and i have been 100% non-responsive. But here I sit… still angry, hateful and bitter. I haven’t find a good guy so I have NOTHING else to focus on. How can I get over this? How do I erase this horrible guy and feel NOTHING? I want him to not exist. Advice, please?
letter to ex
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Advice for a good marriage can in some cases seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in a long term relationship, sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. Check this article out for more information.
1st.
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn’t working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn’t, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don’t be afraid.
2nd.
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that’s how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!
3rd.
Understand that you can’t fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner’s behavior. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it’s not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It’s much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It’s also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.
4th.
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That’s why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can’t expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.
5th.
Understand the principles of marriage karma-you get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it’s rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?
Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Check out the links below for some great information on fixing your marriage for good.
Tags: Accusations, Default Method, Falling In Love, Healthy Relationship, Interaction, Lead, Long Term Relationship, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Partner, Piece Of Advice, Relationships, Sit, Trees, When You Fall In Love
Marriage
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