How can I get over my jealousy for my husband’s ex wife?
>wencr14 asked:
So this is the deal…I have been married for a little less than a month. My husband’s ex wife still calls him and gives him all kinds of drama! I know deep down he doesn’t have feelings for her, but I still can’t control getting jealous about it and furious! How can I control my jealousy so it won’t be so obvious???
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how to ex back
why are u jealous?? if anything she’s the one thats jealous because YOU HAVE HIM.. she doesnt.. so what do u have to be jealous about???
letter to ex
Do they have children together? If not they should not be talking at all. Tell him how you feel. What he is doing in just inappropriate. And disrespectful to you. If she still wanted to talk to him all the time they never should have separated. Tell her to stop calling.
letter to ex
How can you be certain he doesn’t have feelings for her? You are only one month into your marriage and they had much more time than that I am sure.
To answer: Just watch, and see how it plays.
letter to ex
Are there children? If so, they still need to communicate (although they should be calm conversations…). If not, they shouldn’t be talking at all! Have him change the phone number! I guess it’s just me, but I would probably tell her to stop calling MYSELF!!
apologize writing
Talk to him let him know that they have to set boundries. Beleve it or not she is Very jealous of you. What ever the problems help your husband combat them together. Set up time that she can call and the time she has to stop. Make them set boundries.
apologize writing
when my husbands ex calls him, it makes me mad that shes calling bc she has no reason to, but i dont get jealous. its a turn on for me to know i have him and she doesnt. to know he loves me and he never loved her or if he did it wasnt like he loves me. she calls me and boohoos about how she still loves him and crap too, yea shes nuts, and i love it how jealous she is of me. lol look at it that way and you wont feel so bad….then change your phone #’s….
getbackexnow.net
if they don’t have children together then she should be history! all the ex wife and i are still friends crap is bs. you even said she calls w/ the drama. no no to this. it’s kind of hard to get over being furious about her w/ her calling him making her presence known on the regular. i reason w/ your feelings
how to ex back
i guess u will have to talk seriously to yr husband. they shouldn’t be in contact unless they have children.
if not, it will come around to you what happen to them in the first place.
beware…
apologize writing
I love how the new flame always thinks the ex is jealous. I swear thats how the deterioration of a relationship starts. too much emphasis on his ex and not enough the love you have for one another.
Seriously, you need to stop thinking about her get over her and focus on your marriage which is brand freaking new.
apologize writing
If they have children she should be calling.
If they do not have children not sure why she calling. Maybe they were married a long time, share inlaws etc. You knew she was full of drama when you accepted his proposal. Not sure why it is a bother now. Maybe she feels insecure that he is married and she is just acting out. I’m sure it will fade away soon enough. Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Serves no purpose but to drain you of your energy. Blow it off. It is drama if you let it be drama. Next time she calls to create drama let is slide off. Tell your husband you are not interested in his ex’s drama and to not discuss it with you. If her drama starts to take him away from you then let him know she has plenty of other people to call for help besides her ex husband. She is just doing it to manipulate him. At some point he needs to grow balls and say no to her. I guarantee you if he stops jumping when she calls she will not call as much.
how to get your ex back
newly married a month is not enough to go through the secrets of you both. Give him every thing in the life what one can give to.He will never remember his ex if you don’t stir- up anything. in course of time he will forget her name even. it is in your hand.If wife thinks, she can take her husband to any level and make him as lovable, gentle and many good things. If she wants he can be made as monkey also. Don’t feel jealousy think how to make him remove her from his mind.
ex wife
I would take control of my home and make it known that it is not okay to keep up the drama. If it’s about his kids between them, then good luck with that, you chose to get married.
apologize writing
I was pretty jealous too when I got married. My husband’s ex wife was the nicest sexiest girl. She even sent me an email to congratulate us and how happy she was for us and blablabla. She’s the one who wanted to get divorced since she was too young when they got married and needed to see more of “what’s out there”. They were divorced for 3 years when I met him, he never talked about her, and she lives in St Diego and we are in Virginia so pretty far apart. I just felt cheated to get married with somebody for whom it wasn’t the first time. In my head the fact that he already promised someone else he would love her and be with her until the end of his life was very hard to forget. So I told him how I felt. He said he understood and if he could change things and have never married her he would although his life would have gone another way and we’d never have met. He also through away every single thing that had a link with her, family photos with her in it, clothe or gift she might have given him ect.. He told her how I felt and she said she understood too and they don’t talk anymore. When they are no children involved their are no reason to stay in touch it might be dangerous. Even if now I think I might have over reacted, I’m still glad they don’t talk to each other.
If he doesn’t have kids, just tell him to stop talking to her since it’s killing you and if he really loves you he will do it. It shouldn’t be a problem for him and if it is then maybe he isn’t completely over her.
Now if they do have a kid, it isn’t possible to end the relationship ship completely, just try to not be there when he talks to her, or tell him how you feel and get reassurance from him. He married you, he loves you, he’s with you only. Time will give you peace.
Good luck.
Roxane
apologize writing
She has every perfect right to call him if there are CHILDREN involved. She was married to him before you came into the picture so you just have to learn to suck it up. You won the man, so why do you feel so insecure? Did you break up his first marriage?
letter to ex
Be confident in who you are. Take a deep breath before acting. If you know he loves you; he divorced her, then don’t push him away by your jealousy. She probally wants to mess with you twos’ happiness, don’t give her that power. When she calls talk to her, kill her with kindness. Good luck to you!
ex girl friend
You have every right to get upset about this!! Who does this woman think she is, she is his EX WIFE which means she lost the right to call him and give him hell, they are no longer together ,thats why he married you, where life is happy and good. Unless they have kids together, there is no reason for her to call and you should let that be known how it makes you feel cause you need to commuincate in a relationship inorder for it to stay healthy. Have your number changed and dont give it out to people who know her
apologize writing
Does he have children with her? If not, then they shouldn’t be still talking. I wouldn’t have married my husband if he was still close with his common-law ex… it was a deal breaker for me and he chose to end their relationship. I just knew I couldn’t live with it. However, if he does have children with her, then you have to let him coparent and just know that all you can control is what YOU do, which either will bring him closer to you or push him away. Always keep that in mind.
ex boy friend
LOL. you’re jealous of a nagging shrew? woman, are you ever screwed up.
reset your mental jealousy monitor and calibrate her to “not a threat” and just pity your husband because even though he divorced her, if they have any kids, he still has to put up with her sh*t.
and if they don’t have kids together then ask him why he still takes her calls and puts up with her BS? Don’t ask it in a whiny, jealous way. Ask it in an truly puzzled way as if you couldn’t care but you want to know why he tortures himself.
(heck, even if they have kids together he could tell her he’s not playing her head game if she isn’t talking about the kids but really he has to figure that one out for himself.)
don’t let his stress over dealing with her become your stress. When he complains then ask him what he thinks he could do differently and how he could react to her differently so that he can control and minimize the drama.
apologize writing
You are married to him now..relax..he can handle the ex wife..this is the reality of remarriage and dealing with ex spouses if there are children involved..
ex wife
The first thing you need to accept about life, is that he does have feelings for other people. Let’s just start with his mother.
You cannot walk into anyone’s life and expect them to eradicate all emotion that have for other people, especially not past lovers. Sorry, that’s not how real-life works.
Once you accept that you both can and do have feelings about other people, you need to understand it’s what you do about it that matters.
That is why marriage is a commitment, not ‘until I fancy someone else’.
I think you should talk to your husband about your jealousy.
As long as he’s nice/supportive about it that alone can make you feel better. Just make it clear you’re not trying to tell him what to do or not to talk to his ex, just that you have overwhelming jealousy about it and that you understand it’s not something he’s doing wrong.
That way, if he ends or limits contact with her you know he’s doing it on his own for you – not because you coerced him to (which would start building resentment).
apologize writing
like she wasnt doing that before you married this guy? come on now. this is nothing new. if he didnt stop taking her calls before you got married, then you cant really be surprised that he’s still taking her calls after you got married.
anyways, here are a few options:
1. if he HAS to take her calls (kids involved?), then tell him to do it DISCREETLY and not tell you everything she is saying/doing.
1a. if he HAS to take her calls, then tell him to have her call his cell phone instead of the home phone so that you dont have to deal with picking up the phone when she calls and any voice messages she leaves on the answering machines.
2. another option: ask him to reduce the number of calls (kids involved?) BUT stop involving YOU in what SHE is saying/doing or stop completely (no kids involved) if possible.
3. accept that he wants her in his life. i cant imagine why he’s still connected with her – kids involved? – but this is how you married him – as a man who wants to take her phone calls and wants to hear what she is saying.
4. or the ultimate option: divorce him and admit you made a mistake.
whatever happens, i dont know how you would control your jealousy as i suspect it is created by a sense of insecurity or doubt of trust of how much he is still interested in her especially when he keeps taking her calls. either learn to live with it, but have him do it discreetly, or leave.
I do not understand why anyone would think its ok for your husband to have that kind of relationship with his ex-wife. They must be men who screw around or ex-wives. He should NOT be talking to her about her problems, They are divorced and have no reason to talk unless there are children and if there are then he should include you after all he married you. There should be no conversations about drama or anything She needs to move on and so does he. If the roles were reversed I doubt he would continue to let you reciev phoe calls just to chat.